Fear and Anger

These two emotions I battle with when I get an email fron Frank. The emails are a game. A game I am not a master of because for so long I tried to make the emails real, where all along they are a game. So, I have to “Get over it!” and participate in the game and win. Win my self-respected voice. I no longer need to defend myself from bullying. I need to to stand, and not accept the bullying. Not from the emails, and not from my own thoughts.

I am far from Mastery when it comes to this game. I have much coaching from professionals,  Em and another special person. I have started to ask God for Mastery, and each time I get closer. Not without set backs though, the last email had me crying, quivering, and shouting out words I normally would not use. The support team moved me through the emotions, and brought me back to where I was. I was playing a game, and it was my move.

With my coaches by my side, I responded with ease. To give you a better picture. The emails I am referring to, paint me into someone I am not. Some neglectful mother. Someone incapable of making good choices for my daughters. Emails from someone who is trying to pin me into saying something, so he can run to the courts, and win, win, win. Win what? Win power and control. That is what a sociopaths want, and they will endlessly pursue it, like a lion is search of a good meal.

-Kara

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On a journey that will test the definition of friendship. Find ourselves encountering life's most twisted questions. 2 women brought together by chance but a bond that stands the tests of time, domestic violence, and through it all hope beyond hope. We hope you find yourself Moved to act, Moved to be bold, Moved to be inspired, Moved By Faith.

4 responses »

  1. Can’t you block his email? Can’t you order him to communicate with you ONLY through your lawyer or some other third-party mediator? Personally, I think you know intuitively that there is nothing the sociopath can say or do that would convince you that you are a bad mother. The sociopath knows your weaknesses and fears and IS playing you, like you said. Just read them and laugh knowing that he’s the weak and fearful one because he is an all-around bad person.

    Reply
    • Paula,
      The court has ordered that all communication be arranged through email. She actually prefers to have communication with emails only. For her the fear is that he will make up or twist information to use against her in court. Thanks for such encouraging words, I spoke with Kara and know she appreciates them so much but has been really busy these past few days to log on.
      -Emma

      Reply
    • Paula,
      I can’t wait for the day I can truly read his emails and laugh. Right now, with an appeal waiting. I try to read and respond to them with a trained eye. Why do I fear he may use them against me? I don’t know. I guess because he fools, so many people. Why not the court system?
      God, has brought me this far, I do not plan on letting his emails destroy me, though at times they knock the wind out of me.
      ~Kara

      Reply
      • The court system is filled with very intelligent people who are VERY familiar with his type. I’ll keep you in my thoughts, Kara.

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