These two emotions I battle with when I get an email fron Frank. The emails are a game. A game I am not a master of because for so long I tried to make the emails real, where all along they are a game. So, I have to “Get over it!” and participate in the game and win. Win my self-respected voice. I no longer need to defend myself from bullying. I need to to stand, and not accept the bullying. Not from the emails, and not from my own thoughts.
I am far from Mastery when it comes to this game. I have much coaching from professionals, Em and another special person. I have started to ask God for Mastery, and each time I get closer. Not without set backs though, the last email had me crying, quivering, and shouting out words I normally would not use. The support team moved me through the emotions, and brought me back to where I was. I was playing a game, and it was my move.
With my coaches by my side, I responded with ease. To give you a better picture. The emails I am referring to, paint me into someone I am not. Some neglectful mother. Someone incapable of making good choices for my daughters. Emails from someone who is trying to pin me into saying something, so he can run to the courts, and win, win, win. Win what? Win power and control. That is what a sociopaths want, and they will endlessly pursue it, like a lion is search of a good meal.