Franklin became the worlds best doctor. It was bizarre, having no medical background or mental health background he was able to come up with a diagnosis on the fly at any given moment. Dr. Frank diagnosed Kara with about 5 different conditions. She went to several doctors begging for a diagnosis to be healed from what her husband was telling her was so wrong. She even called a psych ward begging to be admitted. I got the phone call late that evening it went something like this…
“Emma, he told me if I don’t get admitted to a psych ward he’ll divorce me. So I called a few and they laughed at me. They asked me a few questions like… are you going to hurt yourself or someone else? Can you get out of bed? Do you feed and care for yourself and your children? Of course all of these I said yes to, I can’t lie to them. I said though sometimes I get mad when he gets drunk and yells at me. They told me it sounded like a needed to call a marriage counselor”
A short time later later she was diagnosed by Dr. Frank with postpartum. So she went to her doctors yet again certain they could medicate or solve this problem too. Once again they ALL said – nope, not that.
The diagnosis went from one thing to another time and again. Frank had come and confided in me, he told me that he thought something was wrong. I was in complete agreement, my friend was missing. I just had no idea it was him that was stealing her soul. I didn’t realize he was the very disease or disorder she was suffering from.
It’s equally important to note that although he was the one with the diagnosis, she was believing him every step of the way. She too was convinced it was her own doing. “If only I could change/make/try…” slowly but surely she was losing her voice and the more she lost, the more he took. He found such gratification in seeing her deteriorate. It was a spiral and she was slipping oh so so fast.
I think back on where Kara was not too long ago, although it seems like ages. I think back on the constant of fear she lived in and the constant state of fear I lived in knowing what was happening to her. It brings me great sadness thinking of so many other women who are blaming themselves, who are barely hanging on. I think of all the pretty faces that believe they are the crazy ones. I pray for you ladies. I don’t know your name…but I pray for you!